Endo Empowered!

On the one hand, I am feeling a bit Endo Empowered lately.  It's like a little celebration every day that I can carry on with less pain than I've had since 2013.  To know that the Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and troublesome ovary are all under control on the pill is a good thing.

But on the other hand, there is the fatigue! The dark heavy cloud that I am living under every single day with what appears to be little or no relief whatsoever.  It's hard to carry on some days when you are so exhausted and lacking in energy, which in turn leads to being unmotivated.

As usual, it's swings and roundabouts in my Endo world.  My job is to just try and find the silver lining hiding under every cloud.

P.S.  Photo below is the view from my hospital window last year.  Pretty nice if you can get a window cubicle as it makes hospital life a little more bearable ☺

Link between Endometriosis and Chronic Fatigue?

Having recently read a few blog posts on Chronic Fatigue being Endo related, I am questioning the separate diagnosis by my GP that I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I had no idea that Chronic Fatigue and Endo could be so closely linked, but always suspected that my ongoing fatigue was probably due to the problems happening inside my body. The fact that my Chronic Fatigue could be a directly related Endo symptom is another thing to consider I guess.   I've had ongoing fatigue for the last 6 months and reading those posts, it sounded like they were written about me.

I don't really have any advice to give anyone though, as I'm still trying to work out how to handle my fatigue.  I have only just found out abut the spoon theory and it does make a lot of sense.  I was told by the Pain Service to imagine that I had a 1 litre bottle of energy to last the whole day and that I had to choose how to use it.  Some days I am more mindful of my energy use than others.  Sometimes I just ignore it altogether, but regret it later as overdoing things or going out gives me what I refer to as 'jet lag' for up to 3 days afterwards.

It's difficult to control fatigue though -  take today for example.

Woke up this morning with a terrible 'fatigue hangover' as I like to call it.  Didn't overdo it yesterday, so it's probably from last weekend. So there goes the Pain Services theory about being able to choose what you use your energy for, as this is hard to do when you wake up in the morning already feeling completely exhausted! Just really struggled all day with no energy and had to force my body to do things in order to complete any task.

Also, unfortunately I tend to get quite grumpy when I'm really overtired. Especially today, when a member of my family told me my fatigue and lack of concentration was because I wasn't working or studying and lacked a big project to focus on! So not true, because I do have things to do, it's just that I can't get the energy together to push on and continue with tasks when I'm really exhausted.

I get so frustrated because it's like I have this cloud over my head and I can't snap out of it. Try as I might, I sometimes snap and take it out on my family, which I really don't mean to do, but I can't really help it sometimes. Then I feel really bad and try to say sorry and apologise. I know that my immediate family try their best to understand me though, so we get over it pretty quickly.

Overall, Chronic Fatigue is very difficult for me to manage on top of my other symptoms and illnesses, but my level of fatigue does change on a day to day basis. I just do my best and take it one day at a time.

This photo is a little bit of fun and makes me smile when the fatigue becomes overwhelming.