A Period of Patience

patience

noun

1. 1.

   the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

   "you can find bargains if you have the patience to sift through the rubbish"

   synonyms:

   forbearance, tolerance, restraint, self-restraint, resignation, stoicism, fortitude,sufferance, endurance;

They say patience is a virtue, and when you have a chronic illness it is definitely an attribute that you need on your side.

For me, being patient has pretty much been a permanent state of mind for the last 4 years.  Patience waiting for appointments, for treatments to work (or not), for surgery, and most of all just for something to change for the better, to improve.  In fact, I've probably been trying to have patience for a lot longer than that, as I always hoped that in the years prior to my endometriosis diagnosis that my health would change and the pelvic pain I experienced would gradually ease and go away.  All the doctors said it would improve as I got older anyway - how wrong they were!  

Positive change is like a little bit of sunshine - if you can find some small improvement, it helps you to remain patient and optimistic that more positive changes may happen in the near future.

If instead you are seemingly stuck feeling the same way all of the time with no improvement to your physical or mental health, then patience can be harder to maintain.  Your calm and patient self tends to become elusive, and instead you feel constantly irritated, upset, angry and out of control.  I have felt just like this many times during my health and endometriosis journey, and it is a truly awful place to be.  It is so hard to get yourself out of that negative head space as well - people telling you to 'snap out of it' have no idea how it really feels to feel so controlled by your state of mind.

At the moment, I am feeling a bit stuck, because I'm dealing with constant bleeding, intense pain and the need to take regular pain medications (and anyone who knows me well will understand how much I hate taking pain meds!).  I am disappointed to be in so much pain currently, but have to keep my patience and perseverance going, and remind myself that I am only 10 weeks out of major surgery for my endometriosis and that 'good things take time' as the Mainland Cheese TV ad says.  But this time, unlike other dark times in my life, there is an abundance of hope that things will gradually improve.

As my Gynaecologist said to me when I attended my post operative appointment a few weeks back...

                  "All we need now is time and patience".

Turning a Corner with a New GP

Today was the first day in quite some time that I came away from a GP appointment feeling somewhat happy.  That's an achievement considering how my last few appointment have gone!

So, I took the plunge and went to see a new GP today, in the hope that she would be more helpful and empathetic than my current one.  Well, she's not exactly new because I have seen her a few times when my GP hasn't been available, so we're not complete strangers.

The GP I have been with for the past 18 months started out ok, but as time has gone on it has felt more draining and less productive going to see her, as she has just acted in a sarcastic way and not done anything really helpful for me.

Although I'm not naive enough to think that any GP can cure me, all I ask is that they treat me if they can, suggest things for me to talk to my Specialist about or just give me some support and empathy along the way.  You wouldn't think that could be too much to ask, would you?

But sadly, it's not that easy to find a GP who has all those attributes rolled into one nice and friendly package, or not that I've found anyway!  So heading into an appointment with a new GP today was a bit nerve wracking to say the least, and I was practising my meditative breathing in the waiting room.

In the end, walking out of that appointment I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  My new GP,  Dr S, was kind, friendly, empathetic and she even noticed a couple of changes in my physical appearance, even though the last time I saw her was in early January!

She suggested a couple of things to bring up at my Gynaecology appointment next week, went over my current health situation, and had even read my notes before I arrived to see where I was at!

It was a real breath of fresh air, and hopefully our Doctor-Patient relationship will stay that way for a good long time yet.  

In the back of my mind I know that it might not last, and that over time she may get a bit tired of caring for me, but all my hopes are pinned on this not happening.  Hopefully as long as I try my best to take care of her, she will do her best to take care of me.

Being My Own Cheerleader

I know the title sounds cheesy, but that exact phrase was what sparked the idea for this post really, so I'm stuck with it!

Before your imagination starts running wild, no I have not joined a group that wears short skirts and waves pompoms in the air while chanting slogans for football teams!

The word cheerleader applies to chronic illness in my mind as a way to describe supporting yourself.  To cheer yourself on and be a strength that you can draw on when you need it most.

In the 2 and a bit years since my Endometriosis diagnosis, I have ended up with an unusual kind of team on my side, which is made up of immediate family, a few close friends, doctors, other medical practitioners etc. 

But although I have my 'team' around me, I have learnt that you can't survive the day to day chronic illness life by solely relying on your team mates.  Sometimes they get tired, burnt out or just let you down when you least expect it. 

So, although the team is an important part of your support network, a lot of the strength and will to carry on has to come from within. 

It has to come from you.

Believe me, some days it feels almost impossible to carry on, and you feel like there is absolutely nothing left in the tank.  This feeling of being down and hopeless can last anything from a few hours to many days in a row.  It's so important to let yourself have some down time, because it is exhausting being your own cheerleader and always willing yourself to carry on.  Don't let your brain tell you that you are weak for shedding a few tears, or having a day where you just need some time alone to process things.  It's completely natural, because let's face it, no one can be happy and brave all of the time!

But it is also important to reboot.  To use that inner strength and courage to bring yourself out of a dark patch.  To see the light again and bring that positivity that lies inside all of us to the surface, even if it feels like it is buried deep within you.

Today may be a bad day, a hard day, an impossible day...

But tomorrow is a whole lot of new, a clean slate full of possibilities.  So dig out that inner cheerleader and help yourself through whatever is going on in life right now.  Once you see the light again and realise that what you do have is precious, you will feel more positive and the burden that you carry every day will feel a little bit lighter.

How Do I Take Care of my GP?

This is a question I thought I would never have to ask myself!  Mind you, there are a lot of things I thought I would never have to endure or even think about, and a lot of those things have happened anyway, so I guess this weird thought should come as no surprise...

I have an ongoing issue with General Practitioners.  It sounds terrible to say, but I've been through a couple of different ones since my diagnosis just over two years ago, although I have been with the same one for over a year now.

The issue is that, for the first little while, they seem really caring, helpful and proactive in helping me with all of my 'complex' health issues.  They suggest things to try, and do their best to help me cope and obtain treatments or diagnostic procedures to try and figure things out.

But after a while, they seem to tire of me and become flippant, frustrated and not so helpful.  There are no more things to suggest (unless I suggest options myself and ask their opinion), and no more medications or interventions to try.  They start to tease me when I arrive with new symptoms, or when I dare to ask questions or share how I'm feeling in the hope of finding a little compassion, sympathy or support.

This quote from a blog post of a chronic illness patient really brought it home for me...

Once you reach a certain number of diagnoses, it's like they check out.  I can feel it.  When they see me coming, they begin to put off a vibe of annoyance and distrust.  It's heartbreaking.  I need them.  I need to be given a fair shot.  But they don't want to deal with me.  I'm too complicated.

To look at it from a GP's point of view, I can understand their frustration to a point.  I understand that it hurts them to know that they can't 'fix' me, and that they might even send me away following my appointment without being able to do anything directly to help with whatever I am dealing with at that time.  Here is a good blog post about working with chronic illness patients that has been written by a Doctor -

http://more-distractible.org/musings/2010/07/14/a-letter-to-patients-with-chronic-disease

But I'm not just there for a new prescription or in the hope that there is some new 'magic bullet' that will fix all of my problems.  I'm not that naive.  Being on the chronic illness road for over 2 years means that I have learnt a lot of things, including that there is no cure (and there won't be one in the near future either) for any of the health conditions that I am dealing with.

Sometimes I just want them to reach over, hold my hand and tell me 'That really is no fun, and I'm here for you.  How about we do some blood tests to see what your so and so levels are like?'  Or perhaps suggest what topics are most important for me to discuss with my Specialist next time I see her?

It isn't all about pulling out your prescription pad and giving us more medications.  It's about compassion, and that is what I think is most lacking a lot of the time at my appointments.  It is just a small thing to reach out to a patient and let them know that you acknowledge what they're going through is tough and that you are here to support them, but it can make all the difference to someone who is travelling a long road through chronic illness.

I often feel left adrift and on my own between appointments with the Specialist who is managing my health conditions, so support from my GP is paramount on a day to day basis to help us get through.

So to my GP, as well as trying to take care of myself, I will try to take care of you so that you don't get burnt out and dread seeing my name on your patient list.  But the effort goes both ways, so please try to take care of me too, and support me when I need it most.

Thank you.

So Many Ideas...

Blogging is a strange thing to me.  In the first place, I never thought I would start a Blog for lots of reasons, including the fact that no one would probably read it, and also that I'm quite a private person, so didn't think I would have it in me to spill my thoughts onto the internet!  But I took the plunge and started, and I'm still coming back, so part of me must enjoy it...

The truth is, hardly any people that I know in real life know that this blog exists, basically because I haven't really made a point of talking about it.  I think part of it is shyness, and the other part is a fear of being judged by others about the fact that I write about my health issues and life in general and post it on the internet.  I'm pretty sure that most people would think that was one of the strangest thing you could do when you have a chronic illness, to write about it for the world to see.  I know, even reading those last couple of sentences back makes me think 'What the?  Why on earth am I writing about my Endo journey online so that a whole lot of strangers can read it?'

Strangely enough though, writing about what's going on in my Endo life on my blog is soothing.  It's quite cleansing to write about my frustrations, health concerns and issues that I think are important, and I guess a Blog is just somewhere to try and put that jumble of thoughts together.  Quite often, I feel the need to let off some steam when I have a lot of thoughts running around in my brain, and blogging is just one of the ways I manage my stress levels when everything gets to be too much.

Although, in saying that, I'm not a very good blogger really!  If you keep on scrolling down my Blog pages to have a peek at older posts, you will notice that there are quite a few gaps in the dates.  In some places, it looks like I haven't written anything for months!  This is not the case though...

My Blogger account is full of draft posts - yes really!  When ideas strike, I open up the web page or app and jot down a title, or a few sentences that I think would make a good post.  But, as with many things when you live a life with chronic illness, that's often as far as it goes, despite my best intentions.  Those ideas don't always make it to the blog for many reasons, including lack of energy or focus to write, loss of  inspiration or motivation to write on that topic, or just plain old writer's block.  Basically, sometimes I feel the need to blog it out, and other times I can go for many weeks quite happily without feeling the urge or inspiration to write at all.

I could commit to writing on a certain day of the week, or writing so many times a month, but I'm just not going to do that.  My Course of study starts tomorrow, and that's something I will definitely use deadlines and planning for, more so than other things like blogging where it is a choice whether or not I choose to do it that day.

 I don't need the added pressure and stress that comes with yet another deadline to meet, or the disappointment of not doing what I promised myself I would, because that just doesn't help my emotional state of mind.  There are many things I do regularly and commit to, and I just don't want blogging to start to feel like a chore - I want to enjoy it, and be inspired to write when the feeling strikes.

So, I'll write when I write, and if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry!  I'm still around, probably just dealing with a downturn in the health department or a short term, acute case of writer's block :-)

Losing Control

I cried this morning.  I'm not ashamed to admit it, because it's perfectly healthy to express your emotions.  To those girls out there who bottle things up and keep everything on the inside until it becomes utterly overwhelming, know that it's not weak to cry if you need to, no matter the circumstances.

Anyway, onto today's post..

Today I just wanted to be normal.  To have a normal amount of energy and stamina, and just be able to go out into the world and do things like everyone else can.  Today was a day that I mourned the loss of my old life, and reflected on the new and different, but still good life that I live today.

Living with a chronic illness not only changes how you live and the things you're able to do, but also to an extent it changes who you are.  For me, in the beginning all of this change and uncertainty it was very difficult to take in and adjust to. I would like to say that I have gotten better at accepting change in my life, and the constantly shifting landscape of my health, but some days I definitely still feel like a fish out of water!  I've been reflecting on change and control of life over the last couple of days, so I thought I would write a few of my thoughts here...

Let's all face the facts here - we all crave control in our lives.  Control of what we do, where we go, what we wear and what we say and how we act towards others are just some of the things that we get to decide on each day.  A lot of these decisions we don't even consciously register in our minds, because they are made in a split second by the pre-frontal cortex in our brain.  Having control of different facets of our lives makes us comfortable in the knowledge that we are in the driver's seat, and helps us to 'live in our comfort zone'.  Everyone likes to feel like they're in their 'comfort zone', am I right?

Comfort is therefore the complete opposite of fear.  Fear generally rears it's head when we are facing change, or coming to terms with something, for example a new job, house move or the start of a course of study at Uni.  In all of these 'new things', there is an element of loss of control on our part, because we are jumping into something new and unknown that we haven't done before.  So the feeling of loss of control and fear of the unknown come together, and pretty much make us freak out!

You may be asking 'What the heck does all this rambling about control have to do with chronic illness?'  Well, in a way the same principles of loss of control and fear apply to chronic illness in the same way that they do in most people's everyday lives.

Thinking back to before my Endometriosis diagnosis, I had a job that I loved and was forming a 'plan' in my mind about what I was going to do next regarding Uni etc.  All of this came crashing down around my ears as I got more and more unwell, had to leave my job and became this creature floating around in pain all of the time!  Getting the diagnosis helped for sure, because then I knew that it wasn't all in my head and that I was being taken more seriously now that I had a medical 'label' so to speak.  

But to be honest, my feelings of fear and loss of control only worsened, because now I had this new, scary diagnosis and I really had no idea what I was going to do.  So, similar to what you may experience in an everyday sense, I was basically plucked out of my life by one of those metal cranes like in a toy vending machine, and plonked into this whole new medical world which I had no idea how to navigate!

Over the past 2 years I have adjusted and it has become easier to live this new and different life of mine, but still, the goalposts are constantly shifting and there is always one thing or another to deal with.  I'm definitely not some shiny, brave chronic illness person who feels no fear and has a magic wand to solve all her problems!  Some days it all just seems like too much to cope with, but mostly I work through the fear and just break down into steps how I am going to cope with or manage what is happening to me in that particular day or moment.

An important part of coping with this is to have a support network around you, so that you know you have someone to talk to if you need to.  I'm incredibly lucky to have a supportive family, a few close friends I can confide in, and my Endo Angels support group who are always here to support me and lend a listening ear.

Comment below and let me know if you too have feelings of fear and loss of control in your life.  If you do, know that everyone does no matter what their situation, and it's perfectly normal!  It's just about finding some coping strategies that help you to work through whatever you may be going through.

Gee, this post feels like I'm totally rambling!!  But, it's what has been on my mind lately, so I thought I would come here and share...

Hopeful and Cruel

Here I am - back to square one again.

Endometriosis is a bit like that.  You start on a new treatment or medication, and you're filled with hope that it will do what the Doctors tell you that it will do.

The first week or two is usually a bit rough as your body adjusts to it, and your hormone levels can be a bit upside down.

When things start to even out after a couple of weeks and you begin to see a positive change, you feel so excited and hopeful that this one just might be it.  That this might just be the thing that eases the pain and symptoms and helps you get your life back a little.

And then it starts.  The downhill slide.

The pain and symptoms start to return, and you feel so tired and ill.  You begin to question why nothing works.  Why it either doesn't work at all, or even worse it gives you some relief and just when you begin to hope, it all comes crashing down again.

At the end of the day, it all comes as part and parcel of having a chronic illness unfortunately.  Some things work and others don't, and you just have to ride the wave until the sea calms and it all begins to even out again.

Dr V to the rescue - hopefully...

Today I finally got hold of Dr V as I can't keep going on like this.  The pain is getting worse every day now and I have absolutely no energy due to pain and other related Endo symptoms.  Not sure exactly what is playing up - guess it's just a combination of my Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and grumpy ovary!

Dr V assures me that my body rejecting the medication is quite normal and that she will just have to try me on another pill instead.  I have just been and filled the new prescription, so I'm hoping that these pills will do a better job than the last ones because I'm really struggling right now.

I'll just have to see how things go...  Really hoping these pills will work because I can't bear the thought of continuing to feel like this for another day, let alone another couple of months!

                                

Inside the mind of a GP

I was hoping for a little support from my GP when I went to see her this morning.  Since this has all been going on for over a year now and I am really starting to struggle, especially with my worsening fatigue and racing heart.  You would think that a little bit of sympathy and support wouldn't be that hard to get - right?

Wrong!

Talking about my fatigue that has so far lasted 8 months (very briefly) - "You're just tired because your body is fighting some kind of unknown allergy.  "Here, take this antihistamine for at least 4 weeks (even though she's put me on it before and it kept me up at night with terrible stomach cramps and diarrhea until I stopped taking it) and then we'll see what happens.  Oh, and by the way, it will help with your nausea as well!" 

Talking about my mysterious bloated stomach - "Oh, you're probably constipated."  No I'm not, I know what that feels like from when all the pain meds in hospital made me constipated and I would definitely know if I was!

Talking about my ongoing pelvic pain - "Is it worse than before, or just the same as before?"  Yes, it's the same as before, but it was pretty bad before, so shouldn't you be concerned that it isn't getting any better?  "Oh, I'll just make a note of that."  Great, how is that going to help me???

All the "helpful advice" I got from her today was to be told that I was dwelling on my symptoms too much and that I should learn to distract myself and not focus on how I was feeling!!! 

Mum (who comes to all of my medical appointments as my support person and second brain since my memory is so rubbish) stepped in at that point and told GP that I was really positive and pretty much permanently used the art of distracting myself to just get through the day.  I also added that I tend to go and write down what symptoms I am experiencing (and at what level), then just go and do something else.  Basically, my attitude is if I'm dealing with less symptoms that day, then that's great and I will enjoy it while it lasts.  If it's a bad day, then I just do what my body can handle and settle for that.

There is so much frustration inside me right now, as I feel like I am being treated like a complete idiot and every time I go to see my GP they just say "Here's another tablet - try this" with no real explanation about what might be wrong.  Or alternatively just say there's nothing they can do to help (like my last ex GP), or tell me to wait until my next Specialist appointment, which could be at least  3 -  6 months away depending on how long I've had to wait.

My GP also seems to have a low opinion of me when it comes to trying new tablets.  She says to me to "make sure I give this one a good go" like I don't want to try anything new.  This is not the case at all - I will try anything!!!  Just because I had to stop the last 2 tablets that she put me on due to side effects including stomach cramps, diarrhea, extreme tiredness and blurred vision does not mean I am not open to trying new things!  It just means that those tablets obviously don't agree with me.  Then she asks "How do you know that those symptoms were caused by the tablets I put you on?"  Um, because I didn't have these symptoms until I started the new tablet, and after I stopped it they went away - isn't that logical enough for you?

GPs seem to have very little understanding of Endometriosis and how to take care of their patients who have Gynae issues along with other mysterious symptoms in my case.  Also, they never believe you when you suggest that your other symptoms including worsening fatigue and my fabulously bloated stomach (otherwise known as Endo Belly by some of my bloggy friends) could be related to Endo.  They just say "No, those aren't classified as Endometriosis symptoms."  I get better advice from my fellow Endo Bloggers and other young women who are going through similar things to me than I do from any Medical Doctors - isn't that saying something???

OK, enough GP ranting now.  Time for a song to remind me that I can carry on and that one day everything will be all right again.

                              

The Endo 2014!

As much as I don't want to wish any days of my life away, I have to say that I'm glad to see the end of 2014.

In January of this year, I was finally given a name for my ongoing period / health / pain related issues.  I'd had problems on and off since 2007, but 2013 was when my Gynae issues really started to affect my general health on a daily basis.

After my first Laparoscopic surgery in mid January 2014, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Endometriosis at age 21.  I have now undergone 3 Laparoscopic Surgeries and am still suffering with ongoing (potentially ovary related) pelvic pain.  To add yet another diagnosis, I was told by my Gynaecologist 4 weeks ago that I also have Adenomyosis.  Nice Christmas gift that was!

2014 has been a journey, that's for sure.  In some ways though, I am grateful for it because no matter how tough things have gotten, I have proved to myself how strong I am.  Also, I actually have a really high pain threshold, so that's good to know and I'm sure it will come in handy in the future!

I guess looking forward, I am still left with more questions than answers...

+ Am I going to be able to get my pain under control and keep it there?

+ Is my fatigue going to improve to a point where I can work again,  not have to limit my activities and live a more normal life?

+ Will my Endometriosis and Adenomyosis become more stable so that I have less symptoms?

+ Do I have to be on the Pill for the foreseeable future to control my Gynae issues and how long will this keep them at bay before I need more treatment or  (perish the thought) another Laparoscopic Surgery?

+ Will I be able to sleep naturally again without having to take tablets to help my body remember how to sleep?

I don't have any answers though, so I'll just have to carry on with my body as it is and see what my Gynaecologist has to say at the end of January.

It has been a tough and challenging year for me, that's for sure.

Just want to say a huge thank you to my family and friends for supporting me and accepting me how I am each day.  Also, a huge thank you to all the doctors and nurses who have taken care of me this year.  You have (mostly) done the best you could for me and there are a couple of you who I'd love to go out for a coffee with one day.  ☺

Bring on 2015!  I'm ready for whatever you throw at me.

A Year Ago Today

December 17, 2013.  The first day that a Doctor sat across the table from me, looked me in the face and told me they thought I almost definitely had Endometriosis just from taking the time to listen to my story and growing list of symptoms.  This was an important day because I had finally heard from a medical professional the phrase that I had been both hoping and dreading to hear in equal parts. 

I was sitting in the office of a male General Surgeon (yes, not a female Gynaecologist!) who I had been recommended to by a friend who works in the medical world.  Having had multiple GP visits and seen 2 female Gynecologists at different times during the previous 7 years and getting nowhere, I asked my friend for a recommendation as it was time for a different approach.

It was a relief just to sit there and hear someone finally say that they knew what was wrong with me, why the pain was becoming so unbearable and why more of my life was being disrupted due to my declining health.

To think that a whole year has gone by since that day is a bit scary to be honest with you.  It's like the last 365 days have been swallowed up into a big black hole or something... 

In celebration of the end of this year (and I can tell you I'm glad to see the back of it) here are some random firsts, facts and figures from 2014...

My first... 
+ Admission to hospital
+ Overnight stay in hospital
+ Hospital meal (glad that's over)
+ IV line insertion
+ MRI Scan 

+ Endoscopy
+ Sedation
+ General anaesthetic
+ Surgery
+ Patient Controlled Analgesic :-) 


And here are some totals from my 37 days in hospital during 2014... 
1 Endoscopy
2 MRI Scans
3 Laparoscopic Surgeries
4 General Anaesthetics
5 Ultrasound Scans 

Outpatient appointments attended, pills swallowed, blood tests - too many to count...

I'm just thankful that it's December 2014 and not December 2013 which would mean I'm right back at the beginning of this journey.

Also, you know how people say when they have done something that they wish they had known about it in advance, as they would have done things differently?  Happy that I didn't know beforehand how long and rough this journey was going to be.

I will write more about different parts of my Endometriosis journey in future posts in the New Year.  Until then, wishing you all a Happy New Year and may 2015 bring less pain and better health for all of us Endo Girls!

Link between Endometriosis and Chronic Fatigue?

Having recently read a few blog posts on Chronic Fatigue being Endo related, I am questioning the separate diagnosis by my GP that I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I had no idea that Chronic Fatigue and Endo could be so closely linked, but always suspected that my ongoing fatigue was probably due to the problems happening inside my body. The fact that my Chronic Fatigue could be a directly related Endo symptom is another thing to consider I guess.   I've had ongoing fatigue for the last 6 months and reading those posts, it sounded like they were written about me.

I don't really have any advice to give anyone though, as I'm still trying to work out how to handle my fatigue.  I have only just found out abut the spoon theory and it does make a lot of sense.  I was told by the Pain Service to imagine that I had a 1 litre bottle of energy to last the whole day and that I had to choose how to use it.  Some days I am more mindful of my energy use than others.  Sometimes I just ignore it altogether, but regret it later as overdoing things or going out gives me what I refer to as 'jet lag' for up to 3 days afterwards.

It's difficult to control fatigue though -  take today for example.

Woke up this morning with a terrible 'fatigue hangover' as I like to call it.  Didn't overdo it yesterday, so it's probably from last weekend. So there goes the Pain Services theory about being able to choose what you use your energy for, as this is hard to do when you wake up in the morning already feeling completely exhausted! Just really struggled all day with no energy and had to force my body to do things in order to complete any task.

Also, unfortunately I tend to get quite grumpy when I'm really overtired. Especially today, when a member of my family told me my fatigue and lack of concentration was because I wasn't working or studying and lacked a big project to focus on! So not true, because I do have things to do, it's just that I can't get the energy together to push on and continue with tasks when I'm really exhausted.

I get so frustrated because it's like I have this cloud over my head and I can't snap out of it. Try as I might, I sometimes snap and take it out on my family, which I really don't mean to do, but I can't really help it sometimes. Then I feel really bad and try to say sorry and apologise. I know that my immediate family try their best to understand me though, so we get over it pretty quickly.

Overall, Chronic Fatigue is very difficult for me to manage on top of my other symptoms and illnesses, but my level of fatigue does change on a day to day basis. I just do my best and take it one day at a time.

This photo is a little bit of fun and makes me smile when the fatigue becomes overwhelming.