Showing posts with label deal with it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deal with it. Show all posts

Friday, 29 July 2016

Sick, Sick, Sick

I'm so sick and tired!

Sick of bring chronically ill

Sick of feeling stuck

Sick of putting life on hold

Sick of feeling like I have no control over my body

Sick of being treated like a medical mystery instead of a whole person

Sick of trying to take care of myself and not feel any better off for it

Sick of being poked and prodded

Sick of being judged and patronised

Sick of doctors treating me like I'm some kind of nuisance

Sick of being ignored

Sick of not being taken seriously

Sick of doctors telling me that all of this must somehow be my fault

Sick of poisoning my body with medications that don't help

Sick of people telling me it's all in my head

I'm just so sick of everything...

Friday, 1 April 2016

Being My Own Cheerleader

I know the title sounds cheesy, but that exact phrase was what sparked the idea for this post really, so I'm stuck with it!

Before your imagination starts running wild, no I have not joined a group that wears short skirts and waves pompoms in the air while chanting slogans for football teams!

The word cheerleader applies to chronic illness in my mind as a way to describe supporting yourself.  To cheer yourself on and be a strength that you can draw on when you need it most.
In the 2 and a bit years since my Endometriosis diagnosis, I have ended up with an unusual kind of team on my side, which is made up of immediate family, a few close friends, doctors, other medical practitioners etc. 

But although I have my 'team' around me, I have learnt that you can't survive the day to day chronic illness life by solely relying on your team mates.  Sometimes they get tired, burnt out or just let you down when you least expect it. 

So, although the team is an important part of your support network, a lot of the strength and will to carry on has to come from within. 

It has to come from you.

Believe me, some days it feels almost impossible to carry on, and you feel like there is absolutely nothing left in the tank.  This feeling of being down and hopeless can last anything from a few hours to many days in a row.  It's so important to let yourself have some down time, because it is exhausting being your own cheerleader and always willing yourself to carry on.  Don't let your brain tell you that you are weak for shedding a few tears, or having a day where you just need some time alone to process things.  It's completely natural, because let's face it, no one can be happy and brave all of the time!

But it is also important to reboot.  To use that inner strength and courage to bring yourself out of a dark patch.  To see the light again and bring that positivity that lies inside all of us to the surface, even if it feels like it is buried deep within you.

Today may be a bad day, a hard day, an impossible day...

But tomorrow is a whole lot of new, a clean slate full of possibilities.  So dig out that inner cheerleader and help yourself through whatever is going on in life right now.  Once you see the light again and realise that what you do have is precious, you will feel more positive and the burden that you carry every day will feel a little bit lighter.


Sunday, 14 February 2016

Is Trouble Brewing?

Now that I've been on the Pill for about 3 months, I have reached the point where it's time to take the placebo (sugar) tablets in the pack for 7 days.  Or, if you're me, throw the sugar pill for that day into the rubbish bin every night, because what's the point of taking them anyway?
Today marks the third day since I came off the active pills, and to be honest, I haven't had a real crash with mountains of pain yet, which is what I was expecting.  I am super nauseous and tired though, and have a feeling of heaviness in my pelvis.
Although the withdrawal bleed I'm supposed to be having hasn't arrived yet, there is definitely a feeling that 'trouble is brewing' in my uterus!  There's nothing I can do about it except to wait and watch and see how things develop.
It's always hard to deal with when you know that things may get worse for some reason.  My motto is 'Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best' in these situations.
I'm safe in the knowledge that if things do turn really bad soon, I've handled it before and I will get through it again! 
This Hagrid quote from the Harry Potter movies helps as well...