Hopeful and Cruel

Here I am - back to square one again.

Endometriosis is a bit like that.  You start on a new treatment or medication, and you're filled with hope that it will do what the Doctors tell you that it will do.

The first week or two is usually a bit rough as your body adjusts to it, and your hormone levels can be a bit upside down.

When things start to even out after a couple of weeks and you begin to see a positive change, you feel so excited and hopeful that this one just might be it.  That this might just be the thing that eases the pain and symptoms and helps you get your life back a little.

And then it starts.  The downhill slide.

The pain and symptoms start to return, and you feel so tired and ill.  You begin to question why nothing works.  Why it either doesn't work at all, or even worse it gives you some relief and just when you begin to hope, it all comes crashing down again.

At the end of the day, it all comes as part and parcel of having a chronic illness unfortunately.  Some things work and others don't, and you just have to ride the wave until the sea calms and it all begins to even out again.

Oh Boy - what next???

If you are squeamish or don't like graphic descriptions, it might be a good idea for you to press the back button and read a different post on my blog.  :-)

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Can't believe this.  I've been on the new pills for just over a week now and they have actually made the pain a lot worse!  What did I do to deserve this?  You take medication on the advice of a Doctor in the hope that it will help (or at least not give you too many nasty side effects) and then it just doesn't.  It's gotten so bad now that I have had to break out the Ibuprofen (which doesn't help much anyway) just to get me through the day.  This means that  things are really bad because I have quite a high pain threshold and can usually put up with quite a lot without taking any meds.

To get it out of my head, I am going to describe the excruciating pain that I am in here.  This is the best way I have thought of to accurately describe how this pain actually feels to me, so here goes...

It feels like someone has split my lower abdomen open with a sharp knife, thrust their hand inside and is trying to grab hold of my internal organs and pull them out through a small slit.  

That sounds like I'm exaggerating, but trust me, I wouldn't make something like that up.

The fact that I get side effects from pretty much every medication I have taken used to bother me, but now I just put up with it.  However, I was definitely not expecting pain this excruciating to turn up.

Don't feel like I have much left in my Bravery & Strength reserves any more, but I'm going to try to keep going and keep fighting this until I am well enough to get on with my life!

                           

Dr V to the rescue - hopefully...

Today I finally got hold of Dr V as I can't keep going on like this.  The pain is getting worse every day now and I have absolutely no energy due to pain and other related Endo symptoms.  Not sure exactly what is playing up - guess it's just a combination of my Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and grumpy ovary!

Dr V assures me that my body rejecting the medication is quite normal and that she will just have to try me on another pill instead.  I have just been and filled the new prescription, so I'm hoping that these pills will do a better job than the last ones because I'm really struggling right now.

I'll just have to see how things go...  Really hoping these pills will work because I can't bear the thought of continuing to feel like this for another day, let alone another couple of months!

                                

Side Effects and their effect on me

I'm on a tablet to help me sleep at night, since I haven't had a decent natural nights sleep since December 2013.

Printed on the box label, it says to "protect yourself from too much sunlight."  I have fair skin anyway, but I have been extra careful to not be in  the sun too much because of the warning on the box.

Today, I walked from the car to our local shops and was maybe in the sun for a total of 10 minutes and this happened!

Oh joy, the side effects of medications can be really annoying sometimes 😕