June Thoughts

Tonight I'm exhausted having spent a few hours with my Granny to help with her stroke rehab.  It's hard work, but I push through the exhaustion and keep going because I can see the results in her cognitive ability, speech and just the smiles on her face.  That and the fact that apart from Mum and I, there isn't really anyone else contributing to try and help her regain what she has lost.

Anyway, that's not why I'm here tonight...

I'm here because I've been meditating on the stage I'm at in my life right now, Endo wise and just in general really.  Doesn't help that I'm going to be turning another year older soon either, as that time of year always brings on thinking about and reflecting on the previous year.

To think that the past year has brought no real achievements for me in my personal or professional life at all scares me.  That I haven't been able to work, volunteer or study because my health has been so bad.  The only big thing that I've really achieved in the past year is to be in hospital less often, only around 3 times in the past 12 months, not counting the numerous GP and Outpatient appointments!

Just the realisation that days are continuing to pass me by and I'm not able to make any really big life changes because of my body is hard to accept.

But I guess at the end of the day, this is what God wants me to do right now.  To focus on myself and to rejuvenate and heal my broken body and mind.

A good and beautiful friend of mine, who I actually first met in hospital last year, has sent me some messages lately that have meant a lot to me and sometimes brought me to tears.  She is helping me, through her encouraging and positive messages, to come to a place of acceptance with where I am at in life right now.

S, you may have no idea how much your messages are helping me right now, but I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  People might say that they're only words, but it's how you interpret them that counts   Thank you so very much for supporting me, it means so much to me.